Searching for home

     We all, at some point, spend a long amount of time searching. Searching for a career, searching for love, for family, for community, for hope. People seem to fall into a constant flow of search, looking and settling with underlying discontent with whatever situation. For me it's home.

     You know what I'm talking about too, not a house but a home. Somewhere where you can throw you shoes down by the front door, where the people that bring you your greatest happiness are, where food is wonderful and comfort is in insurmountable supply. 

     For many years now I've known nothing was settled or final and I would be moving on soon enough. I've craved deep down inside of me for a while; a longing to just go home. Somewhere where bras and make up weren't necessary beyond my bedroom door. That place where you can cook an amazing dinner and have friends over for board games and cookouts. Where you can plant and garden to your hearts content and splash your favorite shade of grey on a wall. Beyond all these things I think we all know home is a feeling and not a place. Home isn't a place its a feeling. And I havent felt that in a long time.

     Sometime I wish I did live where I was most comfortable, where I never had to hold back and hold in. Sometime life seems a little bit like a corset and I'm bursting to be able to let down my guard a little. 

     One day not to many years ago I met someone and we fell in love and now we have started our search together, where is home? Where will we start this adventure of ours and where we grow together as us?

      For now we wait and see. I'll hope and pray. Deep down inside I need home again.